潜伏 (下)

潜伏 (下)
The Mole

by 龙一


为了翠平的这次无组织无纪律的冒险行为，余则成只能强压住心中怒火，在向站长告辞时故作随意地提起要请一天假，说是家中来信，老岳母身体不好，需要女儿回去伺候，明天他想出城把太太送回去。他这是在冒违抗组织命令的风险，因为，翠平毕竟是组织上派来的同志，他没有权力将她调离工作岗位。
Yu had to suppress his anger with Cuiping for her reckless act and breach of discipline of the party. While saying their thanks and goodbye to the branch chief, he asked for a day off to take Cuiping back to her mother, who was ill and needed her. By doing this he was also in breach of discipline as he had no right to change Cuiping’s assignment by the party.

　　站长听了他这话，当即将翠平留给他太太，把余则成拉到一边严肃地说，我好不容易给我太太找了这么一个玩伴儿，而且她们两个也很投缘，你不能带她走。余则成说家中长辈有话来，不能不听。站长说长辈有病可以花钱治嘛，多给他们些钱就是了，你若是把我干女儿带走了，我太太没人陪，还不得照旧每天缠住我不放。
Upon hearing this, the branch chief led Cuiping to his wife and took Yu aside. He said, “It was not easy to find someone to be acceptable company for my wife. As they have hit it off so well, I can’t afford to let her leave.” Yu said, “How can I refuse my in-laws request?” The branch chief replied, “We can always give them money for treatment. If you send my god daughter away, my wife would be deprived her of her company and she will continue to nag at me instead.”

　　原来站长并非真心喜欢翠平的鲁莽，而是他正在给太太物色一个能绊住她的女友，却恰好被翠平撞上了。于是，余则成为了避免翠平再犯错误的意图便被站长的私心给化解了。为此，余则成在心底有一点儿可怜这个大特务头子，他娶了那么多房太太，却又要做出正人君子的样子，真的很难。
So it really was not that the branch chief was enamored of Cupping’s assertive personality, but his necessity to find a suitable companion for his wife that caused him to be nice to Cuiping. Now Yu’s attempt to keep Cuiping from making another gaffe was thwarted by the branch chief’s personal needs. He actually felt sorry for the head of the intelligence agency, who had many wives but wanted so hard to keep up the pretense of appearing to live a righteous life.

　　通过事后的争吵余则成发现，翠平的鲁莽与大胆绝不是批评教育可以解决的，而他又无法将她送走。只是，把这样一个女游击队员长期放在身边，还得带着她参加特务组织各种各样的活动，当真是危险得很。无奈之下，他通过联络点给组织上写了份申请，请求组织批准让翠平在他的指挥下，不要参与任何有危险的工作。
After all the arguments pertaining to this incident, Yu discovered he could neither teach or change Cupping’s boldness and recklessness, nor send her away. It was too dangerous to allow such a female guerrilla to work beside him and let her join him in the various activities organized by the intelligence agency. At his wits’ end, he had to request to the party that he be allowed to dictate to Cuiping not to commit any indiscretion or dangerous actions.

　　组织上很快回信同意了，他便将这个决定传达给了翠平。翠平说你说话不算话，前几天还说要给我任务，结果却在背后捣鬼，想要把我关在家里或者支走。余则成说现在你想走也走不成了。翠平说我拔脚就能走。余则成说你若是丢下站长太太一走了之，便是对革命工作的不负责任……很快，他们的讨论便又被演变成一场惯常的争吵。
So the party gave the permission immediately and Yu passed it on to Cuiping. Cuiping said,” You lied. Just a few days ago you promised to get me an assignment. And now you go behind my back, trying to shut me up at home or send me away.” Yu said, “Now you can’t leave even if you want to.” Cuiping replied, ”I can leave anytime I want.” To which Yu retorted, “It would be irresponsible to the party’s cause if you just leave the branch chief’s wife.” This discussion soon became another of the arguments they frequently had.

　　他们的这场争吵是在卧室中发生的，一个坐在床上，一个坐在地上，翠平一生气居然点起了烟 袋，浓烟把卧室熏得像座庙。余则成张了几次嘴，却又把禁止吸烟的话咽了下去。与革命工作有关的事再小也是大事，与个人相关的事再大也是小事，他不能因为个人好恶，而让他们的协作关系进一步恶化。
Their argument took place in the bedroom, while one was sitting on the bed and one on the floor. Cuiping got angry and lit up her pipe and the smoke instantly turned room into a temple. Yu opened his mouth several times, but in the end he refrained from asking her not to smoke. Insignificant things would be considered very significant if they pertained to the party’s cause, whereas even huge personal feelings would be considered insignificant. He couldn’t allow their working relationship to deteriorate due to his own personal likes or dislikes.

　　倒是翠平猛然醒悟过来，拎着烟袋光着脚跑到阳台上。余则成也跟着她来到阳台，本打算劝解她几句，缓和一下气氛，不想他却突然发现，在街对面停着一辆小汽车，里边有两只香烟的火头在一闪一闪。他又向街的两边望去，果然发现远处还停着一辆汽车， 但里边的人看不清楚。这是军统局典型的监视方法。于是，他伸出双臂，从后边搂住翠平，口中哈哈大笑了一阵，然后在她耳边低声道，你也笑。
Cuiping finally realized her act and took the pipe and went out bare foot to the balcony. Yu followed, thinking to console and apologize to her to lighten the mood. But he discovered that a car was parked across the street, with two lit cigarettes glowing. As he looked further up and down the street, he saw another car parked farther down. And even though he couldn’t recognize anyone in particular, he knew it was the typical method of the bureau surveillance. So he stretched out his arms and hugged Cuiping from behind, while laughing loudly. He whispered in her ears to do the same.

　　翠平显然很紧张，笑声一点儿也不好听。他又将翠平的身子转过来，一手搂住她的腰，另一只手搂住她的头，将嘴唇贴在她的嘴角边上，做出热吻的样子。翠平口中没有喷净的烟气，熏得他泪流满面。
Obviously, Cuiping was nervous and so her smile was not genuine. He turned her around, putting one hand on her waist and the other on her face. He kissed her on her lips, but the smoke in Cuiping’s mouth brought tears to his eyes.

　　你看一眼街对面，现在知道什么是危险了吧!他悄悄地说。知道了。翠平仅止点首而已。
“Look across the street, now you should realize how dangerous it really is.” He whispered. “Yes.” She nodded in agreement.

　　他接着说我希望你能听从我的安排。翠平把头摇得坚决，不行。为什么?翠平这才小声说她必须得有正经的革命工作才行。他说你这是不服从领导。翠平说领导也得听取群众意见。他说非常时期得有非常措施。翠平说放弃革命不行。他说你做工作的方法不适合现在的环境。翠平说你可以教我怎么做但不能不做。他说我交给你的任务就是陪好站长太太。翠平说那个老妖婆让我恶心。他说你要跟站长太太学的东西还多着 哪。翠平说打死我也不学当妖怪……
He continued, “You have to follow my instructions.” Cuiping shook her head resolutely, and said “No.” “Why not?” Cuiping replied in a whisper that it had to be a real assignment for the revolution. He then said, “You are not following the orders of your leader.” Whereupon Cuiping said, “Even the leaders have to listen to the opinions of the masses.” He replied, “Due to unusual times you must accept unusual measures.” Cuiping retorted,” Under no circumstances, should we be lax about the revolution.” He then said, ”Your working style does not fit the current situation.” So, Cuiping said, “You can teach me how to do it, but you must let me do it.” He then said, “The assignment I give you is to be company for the branch chief’s wife.” She answered, “That hag disgusts me.” So, he said, “There are many things you can learn from her.” Her retort was, “I’d rather die than learn to be a monster like her.”

　这一场争吵，直到翠平猛然甩手离开他才结束。她最后丢下一句狠话：我看你身上根本就没有革命战士的胆量。
The argument didn’t end until Cuiping flung his hand away and left. Her parting words stung in his ears, ‘I don’t see any courage of a revolutionary soldier in you.’

　　翠平回房间去了，余则成却不能追上去继续这场争论，因为他不得不在阳台上打完一套太极拳，以表演家庭生活的幸福与安闲，给楼下的特务看。他知道，楼下这些人是老马的布置，为了除掉他这个竞争者，老马甚至可能会把他“诬陷”成共产党。
Cuiping went back to the room, but Yu couldn’t continue the argument with her immediately, because he had to pretend to show harmony by starting a Taiqi routine to throw off any show of discord. He knew that those spying on him were sent by Old Ma and he was not above framing him if necessary.

　　用余则成自己的话说，他们的这场发生在革命团体内部的争论，是以翠平的部分胜利而告终。第二天，他不得不又给组织上写了一封信，请求组织上批准翠平参与一项危险性不大的工作。如此朝三暮四，出尔反尔，让他觉得自己很对不起党组织，给领导添麻烦了。
In Yu’s own words, this argument between the two comrades was partially won by Cuiping. The next day, he had to write to the party again, asking approval for a not too dangerous assignment for Cuiping. He was embarrassed at being in this wishy-washy situation.

　　他让翠平参与的所谓革命工作，是替他向组织上交纳他的党费。
The so-called revolutionary job that Yu gave Cuiping was to deliver the party dues to the party.

　　他在军统局所做的是那种让人无法清廉的工作，因为总是有那么一些人挖门托房地给他送钱， 目的并不一定是要他帮什么忙，而多半是希望他装一些糊涂，哪怕是少看他们一眼也行。到了天津站之后，他手中已经积存了一大堆十两的金条，但是，由于和党组 织的同志见不上面，他一直也无法上交。现在这一堆金条倒是给了他一个替翠平安排革命工作的理由。
His job at the bureau was difficult to perform without being corrupt, because there were many people who were desperately trying to bribe him for one thing or another, just to keep his eyes and mouth shut. Since his arrival in Tianjin, he had already accumulated a considerable amount of gold in the bribes accepted. As he hadn’t been able to meet any of the party members, he hadn’t turned in the money he was bribed with. Now he was giving this job of delivering the gold ingots to Cuiping.

　　他对翠平说我已经与组织上联系好了，你每天陪着站长太太出去玩儿，组织上会派交通员与你联络，告诉你交接金条的方法。翠平横了他一眼说原来不是送情报。他只好说这是组织安排，是极为重要的革命工作。翠平问如果我做得顺利，是不是就可以送情报 了?他说假如组织上同意，我们再商量。翠平说我不喜欢摸钱，更恨有钱人。他便说你现在就是有钱人，而且必须得让所有人都明白你是个有钱人，这样你才会安 全。翠平啐了一声狗屎，但还是同意了。
Yu informed Cuiping that the party had agreed that she must accompany the branch chief’s wife and that they would contact her as to how the transfer of the gold ingots was to be made. With a resentful look, she exclaimed,‘Oh it’s not for information.’ Yu had to admit it was the orders of the party and that it was important. Cuiping asked, ‘If I accomplish this, will I be allowed to deliver more important information in the future?’ ‘If the party agrees, of course we can discuss this in the future.’ He replied. Cuiping said, ‘I don’t like to touch money and I hate rich people.’ “You are now one of the rich ones, and you have to make others believe that you are. Only then will you be safe.” She retorted, ‘Oh, shit!’ But she agreed.

　　这样一来，他们“夫妻”便分别担任起不同的工作，既互不干扰，也互不了解。余则成认为，秘密工作的基本原则就是知道得越少越安全，对革命工作更是如此。
Consequently, the ‘husband and wife did their respective jobs and though they didn’t argue, still had their differences of opinion. Yu believed that the basic tenets of the spy business was that the less you know, the safer you are. This is especially true in the cause of revolution.

　　在此后很长的一段时间里，余则成的工作和“婚姻”终于平静了下来，一切都走上了正轨。而这个时候，老马对他也表现出了极大的热情和善意，经常过来找他闲聊，拉他吃饭泡澡听戏然后再泡澡再吃饭再听戏，而且还常常向翠平赠送贵重礼品。时常挂在老 马口头上的话是：站长太太对你太太比亲女儿还亲，娘俩出双入对，形影不离，日后那个副站长的位置必定是老弟你的，老哥哥将来还得请老弟多多关照提携才是。
Afterwards for some quite time, both the work and ‘marriage’ seemed to be going along smoothly for Yu. During this period, Old Ma was his congenial old-self. He would chat and visit Yu often. He invited Yu to dine with him, attend theatres and the bathhouse with him constantly. He gave Cuiping expansive gifts and continually flatted Yu by saying that the branch chief’s wife considered Cuiping more of a daughter than her own daughter by continually keeping her company. You will surely become the next vice branch chief. When the time comes, I hope you won’t forget me.

　　除此之外，老马还给他介绍了一批倒卖外币和黄金的掮客。为了能够维持住翠平上缴党费的工作不至于间断，同时也是为了避免翠平再次要求参与到他的情报工作中来，他便顺坡下驴地把自己打扮成了一个贪财的特务，于是，军统局中便又多了一个贪官。为此，站长曾几次暗示他，说凡事都得悠着点儿，不能操之过急，钱财之事无小事，应该从大处着眼，与大人物共事才安全。
In addition, Old Ma introduced Yu to several dealers and brokers of foreign currencies and gold. So as to keep Cuiping busy with her money delivery job and to prevent her from intruding upon his intelligence work, he made the overtures to act intensely interested in making more money than ever. Therefore, the bureau had one more corrupt official. It got so noticeable that the branch chief warned Yu several times to slow down his money chasing and see the big picture.

　　出事的那天，余则成因公跑了一趟塘沽，很晚才回来，却又被新的紧急公事给绊住脱不开身， 便往家中打电话，不想没有人接。他并不知道翠平这天有没有任务，就派手下人到家中去看，那人回来说家中无人，他便立刻意识到翠平出事了，因为，他们在一起 两年来，翠平总是早睡早起，从来也没有过夜不归宿的事发生。
Then it happened! On that day, Yu had gone to Tanggu on important business matters and got back very late. In addition, he had to take care of some emergencies at the office. So he called home, but no one answered. He was sure whether or not Cuiping had any special errands that day, so he sent someone home to check. The assistant returned saying no one was at home, and he immediately realized that something must have happened to Cuiping. In the two years that they had been together, she had always risen early and gone to bed early, and she had never stay out anywhere.

　　他给站长夫人打电话，老太太说干闺女原本陪她去瞧戏，压轴的《牧虎关》刚开锣，她就不知 道跑哪去了，而且再没见到她。然后他又给警察局长打电话，不一会儿那边回电说今晚没人报警发生绑架案件。他再给卫戍司令部打电话，让他们查寻各出城路口， 并描绘了翠平的身形相貌。然后又打电话找老马，没找到，便又跑下楼找特勤队的其他同事，他们都说今天只抓了些闹事的学生，没见着中校太太。
First he called the Branch chief’s wife, and her reply was that they had gone to the theatre, but before it was over, she just disappeared without a word. He then called the chief of police, and his reply also gave no information. So then he called the general’s office to give them Cuiping’s description and requested them to contact him if Cuiping had been sighted. He tried to call Old Ma but wasn’t able to reach him. So he went downstairs instead to talk to his men and see if they knew anything. They had only caught some student protesters and not any wives of officials.

　　其实他一点儿也不担心翠平被捕后会有什么不恰当的行为，他对她的勇敢和革命意志有信心。 他也不担心翠平为了不泄露机密而临危自尽，因为，自从决定让翠平传送党费的那一刻起，他便命令她将毒药和手雷全都留在家中，绝不许带在身上。他认为，她不带这些东西会更安全，也会更小心，否则，以她的性格，她可能会有恃无恐，做出冒险的事情来。
He really wasn’t worried that Cuiping would do anything damaging after arrest, knowing how brave she was. She also wouldn’t commit suicide, because he had already prevented her from carrying the poison or grenade on her. His thinking was that she would be more prudent without any means of killing herself or others. Otherwise, because of her personality, she might do something reckless.

　　他唯一担心的是，万一翠平真的被捕，她一定会咬紧牙关，绝不肯吐露她是他太太这一身份， 也就难免会受刑吃苦头。为此他在心底不住地批评自己，他原应该在派她出门之前便将所有可能发生的情况与应对策略都替她设计好，而不应该因为俩人相处得不愉快和任务危险性不大便忽视了安全准备。你对革命同志关心得很不够啊!他很是生自己的气。
Yu’s main worry was that Cuiping would clench her lips and refuse to identify herself if she was taken prisoner. His worry was that she would be tortured for not cooperation. He blamed himself for not having gone over any contingency plans if caught doing something wrong, mainly because he thought her was not that dangerous and because he wanted to avoid any further dissention.

　　到了第二天中午的时候，这件事连站长也惊动了。他说哪个混蛋会有这胆子?便抄起电话要通了中统局天津站的站长，那边也没有翠平的消息。直到傍晚时分，老马才回来说他把翠平给找到了。这不由得又让余则成多担了一份心，因为，本地任何人抓住翠平 都不会有太大危险，唯独老马是个例外，这家伙可是个设局害人的高手。
By the noon of the next day, even the branch chief was concerned over her disappearance. He exclaimed, ‘Who would have the nerve to do this?’ He even called the Branch Chief of another intelligence agency in Tianjin, but they had no new either. It was not until dusk, when Old Ma returned and said he found Cuiping. Yu was more concerned over this news than if anyone else had found her, because Old Ma was known as an expert in framing people.

　　翠平是被关在了税务局的拘留所里，老马陪着余则成前去领人。税务局大小官员排队在门口迎候，局长吓得面如死灰，就差磕头求饶了。翠平头发蓬乱，脸上有伤，却被人给换了一身新衣服。她一见余则成来接她，便把脸转了过去，脸色由白到红再到紫。
Cuiping was being held at the Tax Revenue bureau, where Old Ma took Yu to pick her up. As they approached, the officials had lined up to welcome them. The bureaeu chief was pale with fright, and looked as though they were ready to kowtow for forgiveness. Cuiping’s hair was a mess, her face was bruised, but she had been given new clothes to change into. When she saw Yu, she turned away and her face turned pale then red then purple.

　　余则成问局长是谁把翠平抓进来的，局长只是一味地作揖，口中不停地说兄弟该死有眼无珠。 除了退还翠平的金条，局长另外又送上一根金条说是给太太压惊。余则成不愿意理睬他，倒是翠平老实不客气地将金条抓在了手中。他知道，翠平一定是相信了他给 她灌输的道理——革命事业同样需要金钱的支持。
Yu asked who brought Cuiping in, but the bureau chief continued to offer apologies and cursed officer who brought her in. In addition to returning Cuiping’s gold, he added an additional ingot to compensate for her distress. Yu ignored him, but Cuiping grabbed the gold without hesitation. Yu knew that Cuiping must have been influenced by his constant promotion of the need for money for the revolutionary cause.

　　他又问老马是怎样找到翠平的。老马说你老哥哥没别的本事，只是手下多几个耳目罢了。老马又劝慰翠平不必难过，等两天他一定会替她出气，要让抓她的那些家伙求生不得求死不能。然而，余则成却仍然在担心这出戏是老马的导演，因为，税务局抓捕黄金贩子的侦探可以不认得翠平，但不可能不认得跟翠平形影不离的站长太太。
He then asked Old Ma How he found Cuiping. Old Ma said he had no special abilities but he had lots of men who were his eyes and ears. He consoled Cuiping by saying he would exact revenge upon those men who brought he in and they would wish they were dead before he was through with them. But Yu recognized that all this could have been set up by Old Ma to trick them into something, because even though the officer of the tax revenue bureau may not have recognized Cuiping, he surely would have recognized the bureau chief’s wife, who was her constant companion.

　　回到家中他问翠平接头的同志怎么样了。翠平泪流满面，说已经服毒牺牲了，并且埋怨余则成不该禁止她带上毒药，以至于让她被反动派抓了活口，而且有可能连累到他。但余则成却不这么想，他认为，如果他太太因为倒卖黄金被捕而服毒自尽，便是向所有人宣布她是在使用共产党人的秘密工作手段，反而会引来更大的怀疑，给他带来更大的危险。但是，他并没有把这话讲出口，因为翠平此时已经羞愧难过得死去活来 了。
After they got home, he asked Cuiping what happened to the messenger who was supposed to receive the money. She burst into tears saying, ‘He took the poison, which you wouldn’t allow me to have. So I was caught alive and may implicate you.’ But Yu wouldn’t agree, because he knew that had she committed suicide just because of trading gold, he would have been in more trouble because they would be suspicious of him using this as a method for passing intelligence to the communists. He didn’t say this out loud to Cuiping since she was already so embarrassed by being caught.

　　自此以后，翠平再没有向余则成提出过参与工作的要求，运送党费的工作也停止了，每天她只是蹲在阳台上抽烟袋，将牙齿熏得焦黑，再不出大门一步。站长为此也挺着急，说我太太很是想念干女儿。余则成只好替她遮掩说翠平病得挺厉害，等好一点儿立刻 叫她去见义母。他也确实希望翠平能够尽快好起来，哪怕是再跟他不断地争吵也行，然而，翠平甚至连话都不愿意多说一句，慢慢地，她原本强壮的身体便被她自己折磨得有些形销骨立了。
After this incident, Cuiping became silent and did not ask for any further work, would not even to deliver the money. She spent all day smoking her pipe until her teeth turned brown and never left the apartment. Even the branch chief became worried and complained to Yu that his wife missed her god daughter. Yu could only use illness as a pretext and that when she recovered, she would go visit her god mother. In his heart, he hoped that she would soon recover even if it meant more arguments between them. The reality was that Cuiping didn’t want to speak at all, and gradually became more and more emaciated and sickly.

　　正在这个时候，组织上突然来信询问翠平的工作情况，要余则成给翠平做一份工作成效和党性水平的鉴定书，说是要入档案的。
At this time, the party requested Yu to evaluate Cuiping’s working capacity and so that they could update her file.

　　这件事把余则成推入了一个两难的境地。在他看来，翠平无论是从学识相貌，到脾气秉性，以 及工作方法，都与她现在的工作大相径庭，更让他恼火的是，翠平几乎从来也不肯听从他的领导，不肯认同他的工作也是需要绝大的勇气和毅力的。然而，他却没有勇气将他的这些想法汇报给组织上，特别是在翠平出现了这次重大的失误之后。过去几年来，他一直在经手与中共有关的各项情报，早几年从延安传来的情报中，有多一半是报告中共整风运动和抓特务运动的情况，如果单从那些情报来看，确实有些吓人，然而，由于他与组织上没有直接的联系，他又无从判断这些情报的真实性 有多大，也就无法辨别那些派遣出去的特务是不是在写小说，编故事。
This put Yu in a big dilemma. From his perspective, her education, appearance, personality and work ethics all lacked sufficiency. More over, she never listened to him or followed his directions. She didn’t not acknowledge his worthiness: bravery, determination and self-sacrifice. However, he wasn’t ready to report these thoughts honestly to the party, especially after this fiasco. Over the past few years, Yu had seen many reports of the severe purging of the party members in Yan’an. The reports were scary enough to keep him from telling them the truth about Cuiping. Due to his lack of communication with the party, he couldn’t be sure of the accuracy of the reports, as to their validity.

　　但是，不管怎么说，他认为如实汇报都是不妥当的。翠平这孩子原本就够可怜的了，别的假夫妻一起过上三五个月便会向组织申请正式结婚，而他们在一起两年了，非但未能成婚，而且俩人的关系越来越冷淡，他认为责任在他自己。于是，他在鉴定书中写道：……该同志有着绝大的勇气和毅力。她对工作无畏无惧，热情之高令人钦佩；对同志严格要求，督责之严值得学习。建议对该同志予以表彰，以资鼓舞。
Regardless of truthfulness, it would be very inappropriate for him to report the truth about Cuiping and her shortcomings. She was a person to be pitied already in her pathetic situation. Normally, in their position, after 3 to 5 months, the marriage should have been consummated. But in their case, even after two years, not only did they not consummate, their relationship was even worse. He blamed himself for this. Therefore, he put in his evaluation that she had great deal of courage and perseverance, her passion for the cause was admirable, and her zeal for strict interpretation of the party’s cause should be emulated. Therefore, I recommend a commendation for her enthusiasm, as a token of encouragement.

　　再读一遍给翠平写的鉴定书，余则成觉得还没有把工作做到家，便又提笔补充道：鉴于该同志的经验已日渐成熟，建议再开设一个备用信箱，并由该同志专责收发。
Having reread his evaluation of Cuiping, he decided that it was not quite adequate and added that she had become a seasoned veteran and should now be given a backup drop box which she would be in charge of.

　　又过了一段时间，组织上回信了，同意由翠平负责一个备用联络点，并给翠平记了三等战功一次。
Before long the party responded with a message that they had approved his proposal for Cuiping for having her own drop box and in addition, they awarded her with a distinguished third class merit citation, which would be logged into her personal file.

　　这是新的任务，你必须完成。余则成在传达完组织上的指示后说。
“This is your new assignment and you are now in charge of it.” Yu said after he explained the party’s instruction to her.

　　让我带上毒药和手雷。翠平已虚弱得无力讲话，但黑眼睛里却燃起了热火。
Let me carry the poison pills and the grenade on me. Cuiping was still weak but her spirit was rejuvenated which showed in her dark eyes the hatred for the enemy.

　　一九四八年十月十四日深夜，在东北战局最为紧张的时刻，站长紧急召见余则成，拿出一只国民政府军事委员会的大信封给他看。余则成立刻注意到，信是给卫立煌集团在长春的守将郑洞国的。站长说南京的意思是让咱们派几个生人把手令送进去，我推荐了你，另外还有一道给你的指令，一旦发现临阵畏缩或意欲降敌者，你有权力当即格杀。余则成指着信封问那么……站长说你的想法和我一样，咱们别当糊涂鬼，还是拆吧。
The most intense period of the war in the Northeastern part of China occurred at midnight of October 14, 1948, that’s when the branch chief urgently summoned Yu to his office. He showed him a large envelope from the National Military Committee. Yu discovered the letter was from the Wei Lihuang clique to the general who was in charge of defending the City of Changchun. “Nanjing’s intentions are to have us send some messengers to penetrate the fortification of Changchun. I’ve recommended you to head this mission, with the proviso that anyone you find who might show any signs of desertion be shot on the spot.” Pointing to the envelope, Yu asked what was inside. To which, the branch chief replied I am of the same mind as you. Better not to be in the dark, let’s open it.

　　余则成用裁纸刀小心地敲碎封口的火漆，抽出蒋介石的手令铺在书桌上。手令内容很简单，蒋介石严令郑洞国率长春守军全力向沈阳方向突围，这样既可保存实力，也可以暂缓解放军对锦州和沈阳的压力。读罢手令，站长不禁长叹道：东北完了!
Yu used a letter opener to unseal the letter, and withdrew Chiang Kai-shek’s decree. It was simple, Chiang ordered General Zheng to break out with full force in the direction of Shenyang. By doing so, they could distract the liberation forces from both directions. Having seen the decree, the branch chief gave a long sigh and said, “We are finished in Northeastern China!”

　　余则成知道他对这次任务根本就没有推托的理由，便说您尽管放心吧。然后拿出一根火漆棒点燃滴在手令的封口上，站长也从书桌中取出一方仿制的封印盖在火漆上。这种事情两个人做得多了，已然熟练而流畅。
Knowing that he didn’t have any excuse to decline the mission, he pointedly assured the manger that he would carry out this mission. He heated the wax and the branch chief took out the counterfeit seal and stamped it shut again. Because they had done this often, it was easy and smooth.

　　站长说飞机已经准备好了，你这就动身吧，另外，你准备为党国尽忠用的东西……
The branch chief told him that the plane is on standby and you can take off immediately. Here’s what you will need if you need to sacrifice yourself for the country .,.

　　余则成破例讲了句笑话：我把氰化钾药丸放在了手枪弹匣里，但我的手枪现在还放在装袜子的抽屉里呢。
Uncustomarily for him, Yu said jokingly, “I left my poison in my pistol, which is in my sock drawer at home.”

　　站长听罢眼睛湿润了，说你跳伞的时候一定要当心，我可不想平白赔上我的左膀右臂。余则成说您老人家放心，您去南京当局长时，我还给您当副官。
With his eyes wet, the branch chief said,”When you jump from the plane, be very careful, I don’t want to lose my best right hand man for nothing.” Yu replied, ”Don’t worry. When you become the bureau chief in Nanjing, I will still be your deputy.”

　　余则成回到家中的时候，翠平还没有睡，因为她现在几乎整夜不睡，只是一味的抽烟而已。见他收拾出门的用品，她问：要去几天?余则成说很快就回来。其实他根本不知道这一次能不能回来，现在东北的战事打得像座熔炉，别说他带着几个人进去，就算是 蒋介石再向里边投进去一个兵团，也如同往钢水里投入一颗铁钉。
When Yu arrived home, Cuiping was still awake. Recently she had been unable to sleep and so she smoked and stayed awake all night long. When she saw him packing, she asked how long he would be gone. “Not long.” Although he knew chances of his return were very slim. The war in the Northeastern section was like a conflagration. Not even counting that they were only dispatching a few people, even if it had been a battalion, it would have been as if Chang Kaishek threw a nail into a pot of molten steel.

　　收拾完行李，他迅速将蒋介石手令的内容写在一张字条上交给翠平，说你明天一早把它送到你的那个联络点，然后在所有该标示的地方都做上加急的记号，希望组织上能尽快拿到。翠平问你出门就是办这件事吗?他说是的。到哪去?到长春。
As he finished packing, he wrote down Chang Kaishek’s message on a slip of paper. “Take it to your drop and mark it ‘Urgent’ and it needs to be delivered to the party as soon as possible.” Cuiping asked, ‘Are you travelling because of this?” He answered “Yes.” “Where?””Changchen.”

　　翠平听到这话便坐回到地铺上半天不语。很久以来，每当翠平心绪烦乱而余则成又有一点儿空 闲的时候，他便不停地对她讲话，希望能够缓解她内心的痛苦。然而他是个老实人，不善言辞，便只好把解放军在全国战场上的军事行动讲给她听，所以，对东北的 战局翠平也很清楚，只是对地理方位时常闹不大明白罢了。
Hearing this, Cuiping sat back down and became silent. For a while, whenever Cuiping was upset, Yu would try to pacify her by talking, even though he was not a verbal person. He would discuss situations of the war. So Cuiping was quite aware the dangers in the Northeastern sector.

　　见翠平不语，余则成心中也很不是滋味。相处两年多来，他们几乎没有过快乐的时候，这可不像是革命同志之间的友谊，然而这又是事实。他提着行李走到门口说，我要走啦!
Seeing her silent, Yu had mixed feelings. The truth was they had never really bonded like true comrades through the past two years. So when he picked up the baggage and walked to the door, he just said, “I’m leaving.”

　　此一去就是生离死别。他心中清楚得很，那份情报一旦送出去，郑洞国的兵团便断无逃生之 路。在相互厮杀的百万军中，他每时每刻都有被杀死的可能。不过，如果他回不来，对翠平倒可能是个解脱，因为她终于完成了任务，而且带着良好的评语，她可以 回到熟悉的环境和战友们中间，到那个时候，她也许能找到快乐，至少比与他相处要快乐得多。
This departure would most likely be final. He was clear that once the decree was delivered, General Zheng’s army would be forced to fight to the death. And at any moment, because he would be between the two forces, his life would be hanging by a thread. However, if he did come back, he would actually be doing Cuiping a service. Her mission would be completed with commendation. She could return to her home environment, joining her fellow guerillas and perhaps find happiness again. At least she would be happier than being with him.

　　他又说了一遍我走啦。
He said again, “ I’m leaving.”

　　这时，翠平突然说：跟你在一起住了两年，我已经没法再回去嫁人了，你一定要回来!
This time, Cuiping abruptly said, “I’ve been living with you for over two years. I can never remarry. So you must come back.”

　　这是翠平第一次对他提出私人的要求，他无法形容自己此刻是个什么心情，只好实话实说：我很难再回来了，送出情报之后，你还是回游击队去吧。
This was the first time Cuiping had ever made a request for herself. He couldn’t describe his emotions, but said honestly, “I probably won’t make it back. So after you deliver the message, you should return to your fellow guerillas.”

　　他知道这些话过于决绝，但是他更知道不应该给翠平留下太多的期望，即使他此去九死一生活着回来，他也给不了翠平幸福，而他自己则会更不幸福。
He knew his words would sting her, but he didn’t want to give Cuiping any hope. Even if he could come back, he wouldn’t give her any happiness, nor to himself.

　　三十多年之后，余则成为了庆祝自己终于被摘掉军统特务的帽子，炖了一锅牛肉，请一个名叫龙一的忘年之交一起吃饭，并给他讲述了这段往事。龙一问翠平后来怎么样了?余则成摇摇头说，五十年代初我就曾回来找过她几次，没有她的任何消息。龙一问那 份情报送出去了吗?余则成说情报起到了关键的作用，但翠平当天便失踪了，一起失踪的还有老马。龙一猛地一拍脑门，自作聪明地安慰他说，她会不会见你不要她，就另外嫁人过小日子去了?
Thirty years later, to celebrate his vindication of being a nationalist intelligence officer, he cooked a pot of stewed beef and invited a friend name Long Yi to hear his story. Long Yi asked him, “Whatever happened to Cuiping?” Yu shook his head and said, “I looked for her several times in the early fifties, but found no evidence of her.” Long Yi asked, “Was the message delivered?” Yu answered that the message had played a critical role in winning the war, but Cuiping disappeared on the same day that the message was delivered as did Old Ma. Long Yi tapped his head, teasingly said, “Maybe she thought you deserted her and married someone else.”

　　余则成却说：不会的，一定是她送完情报后被老马追踪了，抓捕时她拉响了手雷，那只手雷威力极大，足以让三五个人消失得无影无踪。
Yu said adamantly, ”No way. She must have been stalked by Old Ma, and while he was arresting her, she must have pulled the grenade out. That grenade was powerful enough to make several people disappear.”